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256
It's an honest question.
257
Lot of guys wanna appear to be cops,
258
gun, badge, pretend they're on TV...
259
Lot of them just wanna slam a nigger's
head through a plate glass window.
260
I'm all set without your own
personal job application, right?
261
What the fuck did you
say to me, trainee?
262
With all due respect, sir,
what do you want from me?
263
Hey asshole, he can't help you!
264
I know what you are, Ok?
265
I know what you are and
I know what you're not.
266
I'm the best friend you have
on the face of this Earth
267
and I'm gonna help you
understand something, you punk,
268
you're no fucking cop!
269
He's right.
270
We deal in deception here, what we
do not deal with is self-deception.
271
Five years from now you could
be anything else in the World,
272
but you will not be a
Massachusettes State trooper.
273
Are you sure of that?
274
I'm sure of that.
275
Guaran-fucking-teed.
276
You got 1400 on your SAT's, kid,
you're an astronaut, not a Statey.
277
You don't have much family.
278
I don't have any family.
279
What's that I hear from Stephanie
about, you're becoming a policeman?
280
What do you here mean, Stephanie,
who was the only one who came
to my father's funeral?
281
That... that Stephanie?
282
Yeah. That Stephanie.
283
Not much to it uncle Edward.
284
You're trying to prove
something to the family?
285
When you say: the family,
who do you mean exactly? You?
286
You always have to question
everything, don't you?
287
Maybe it would have done you
some good, to have some questions
288
from time to time, you know?
289
Am I an asshole?
Are my kids a mess?
290
Is my wife amoney-grubbing whore? Huh?
291
I mean, those are questions, right?
292
Have I ever been good
to my dying sister,
293
or am I just now pretending to be?
294
Do you need some
money for the funeral?
295
When my mother dies, we
don't have any more connection.
296
It's very lovely, you got the high
ceilings, you got the parquet floors,
297
the bathroom is massive...
298
...the fridge, it's got an alarm in it,
299
in case you have... you know,
300
eating issues. Which was a
joke, not very funny one...
301
There is a great view
of the State House,
302
Beacon Hill, you can see it.
303
I mean if you move in, you're
upper class by about tuesday.
304
So you're a cop?
305
Yes, State Police Detective.
306
State Police Detective.
307
And are you married,
State Police Detective?
308
No.
309
'Cause this kind of a...
sort of a... big place, and...
310
I'll have a co-signer.
311
Oh cool. Ya.
312
You tend to have a house
guest. That's cool.
313
You'll got...
314
Just give me the papers.
315
Sure.
316
Eternal rest grant unto her O Lord
317
and let the the perpetual
light shine upon her.
318
May she rest in peace, Amen.
319
May her soul, and the souls
of all the faithful departed.
320
Through the mercy of God,
321
rest in peace.
322
Amen.
323
Heaven holds the faithful
Departed. F. Costello.
324
So what do I do?
325
There's money
behind this operation.
326
You won't be paid as a regular
cop, but there's a bonus involved.
327
Tax free.
328
We can't conceal
that you were a trainee.
329
You 'll be convicted of a crime.
330
We were thinking a guilty plea to
assault and battery would make sence.
331
Given you nature.
332
You do enough jail time to
convince anyone this is no setup.
333
You'll be on probation,
334
see a court-ordered shrink,
the whole nine yards.
335
If you wanna serve the
Commonwealth, this is your chance.
336
We need you pal.
337
You already pretended to be a
Costigan from south Boston.
338
Every weekend, sergeant.
339
Perfect.
340
Do it again.
341
For me.
342
THE DEPARTED
343
Are you Billy Costigan?
344
Yeah, who wants to know?
345
Own up. I know a Sean
Costigan down on L street.
346
That's my cousin.
347
He's connected.
Not too bright.
348
- Yeah I know.
- I mean no offense.
349
- Billy?
- Yeah, it's me.
350
Oh my God! Good to see you!
351
Aunt Kathy! How are you?
352
Good to see you! Come on in.
353
He said you was in the Staties.
354
I couldn't believe it.
355
I got kicked out
like four months ago.
356
Yeah, it was in the papers.
357
So you know?
358
And why are we graced
with your presence?
359
Why your mother has
some pictures of my father?
360
Look at this smile.
361
My mother had them, my, uh...
362
My mother's dead.
363
Oh, sorry, sorry for your troubles.
364
I was at a funeral myself.
365
Miles Kennefick.
366
I knew him at school.
367
He's a young guy, you know,
it's terrible, it's a shame.
368
I remember... What a night!
That was a night!
369
Listen, listen!
370
I got like...
371
...like thirty thousand bucks, right?
372
- Insurrance money.
- Yeah.
373
You know after my mother
passed and everything.
374
Yeah, yeah.
375
In your line of work if I gave
you like what say ten thousand?
376
What could I get back?
377
You know... You know what you
usually say at these moments?
378
What?
379
What?
380
Come on, man.
381
Oh come on, you
fucking morron, come on!
382
What, you want me to say it?
383
Huh?
384
I'm not a cop, all right?
385
I'm your fucking cousin!
386
You're bad!
387
You're corrupt, buster.
You must be my cousin.
388
Fucking 'ricans think
they know everything.
389
If they knew shit, they
wouldn't be Puerto Ricans...
390
Shut the fuck up
for five seconds, huh?
391
That's right.
You used to be a cop.
392
When we're working together,
just try to limit it to two
eightballs an hour, all right?
393
We're not even supposed to be doing
this shit... this close to worcester.
394
This side of worcester.
395
- Says whom?
- Says him, says Costello.
396
God says, as far as I'm concerned.
397
No, no, no he's no cop, he got
out of the joint three weeks ago.
398
Cunt cop.
399
No, no, no. He talks like his shit
don't stink, but he's good peole.
400
I knew his father.
401
I liked his uncle Jackie better.
402
Jackie was all right.
403
Uncle Jackie was excellent!
404
Fucking guineas.
405
- To Jackie!
- To Jackie!
406
Slainte!
407
Cranberry juice.
408
It's a natural diuretic.
409
My girlfriend drinks it
when she's got her period.
410
What, you got your period?
411
Hey, get your fucking hands off me!
412
Hey, hey, hey!
413
Do you know me?
414
No, no.
415
Well, I'm the guy who tells you
that there's guys you can hit
416
and there's guys you can't.
417
And that's not quite
the guy who can't hit
418
but he's almost
the guy you can't hit.
419
So I'm gonna make a fucking
ruling on this right now.
420
You don't fucking hit him.
You understand?
421
Yeah, excellent. Fine, fine.
422
I fucking know you.
423
I know your family.
424
You make one more
drug deal with that
425
idiot fucking cop magnet
of a cousin of yours,
426
and I'll forget that your
grandmother was so nice to me.
427
I'll cut your fucking nuts off,
you understand that?
428
Yeah. Yeah I do.
429
What are you drinking?
430
A cranberry juice.
431
What is it, your period?
432
Get him a cranberry juice.
433
Hey, fuckhead,
it's Jackie's nephew.
434
Uuh.
435
What?
436
Uuh fucking what?
437
Get the fuck out of here.
438
Sorry, I'm late.
439
Staff sergeant Dignam is our
liason to the undercover section.
440
His undercover work is extensive.
441
He is here to give us his
report. Sergeant Dignam?
442
Ok.
443
My people are out there,
they're like fucking indians.
444
You're not gonna see them, you're
not gonna hear about them,
445
except from me and Captain Queenan.
446
You will not ever know the
identity of undercover people.
447
Unfortunatly this shithole has more
fucking leaks than the Iraqi Navy.
448
Fuck yourself!
449
- I'm tired from fucking your wife.
- How's your mother?
450
Good! She is tired
from fucking my father.
451
Good. Today girls,
452
what I have for you
is microprocessors.
453
Somebody you may already know
stole twenty micropocessors
454
from the Mass. Processor
Company out on route 128.
455
These are the kind of processors
that they put into the computers
456
they can put the cruise missile
up the ass of a camel from
457
a couple hundred miles away.
458
These little pieces of plastic are
worth about a hundred grand a piece
459
Now get this: we get a guy working
for the company two months
460
walks right out the front door,
with a box of processors on Tuesday,
461
has a ticket booked for Florida
on Wednesday, but on Thursday
462
he get found in a dumpster.
463
You know where that
dirtball started his life?
464
Southy projects.
465
What was his name?
The departed.
466
Miles Kennefick.
467
Got the job with a
forged U. Mass. transcript
468
U. Mass. Boston
which happens to be here.
469
- South Boston?
- Oh, you're a fucking genius, huh?
470
Who forged your
transcript, dickhead?
471
This guy... His old man runs the
Hiberniam Liquor Mart. Kenneficks.
472
We're not here to solve the
case of the missing scumbag,
473
we're here to nail Costello.
474
Ok look.
475
Got a guy says he hears Costello's
moving the processors to China.
476
He set up the whole fucking job
and popped Kennefick.
477
You do not want to miss it
if Costello takes a dump.
478
We'd miss a lot less if you made
your informants available to us
and of course to the bureau.
479
Without asking for
too many details.
480
Do you have anyone in
with Costello presently?
481
Maybe. Maybe not.
Maybe fuck yourself.
482
My theory on feds: they're like mushrooms.
Feed them shit and keep them in dark.
483
You girls, have a good day!
484
Normally he's a very nice guy.
485
Don't judge him from
this meeting alone.
486
Mrs. Kennefick, I knew your son.
I knew Miles.
487
He was a little younger than me,
but he was behind me in school.
488
I wanna get these people
who did this to him.
489
Would you like to help us?
490
You wan
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